Redux
by rhrshipper23
Summary: Not all is what it seems as Ron finds himself dealing with a nightmarish situation.
1. Redux

The firewhiskey burned its way down his throat, but Ron couldn't feel it. His arms ached and he suspected that his left hand was broken, but that didn't stop him from clutching the half empty bottle of amber liquid with an almost desperate strength.

His eyes burned, but tears would not come. Not anymore. The anger and hurt that once consumed him were now old friends, soothed by a comfort only the alcohol could provide. The darkness that surrounded him helped to block out the reminders of a life built on a foundation of lies.

A sharp crack downstairs indicated that he was no longer alone in the house. Moments later clumsy footfalls sounded up the staircase and the bedroom door was thrust open, bathing the room with light from the landing. Hermione stumbled inside, her hair and makeup in disarray and she froze when she spotted him sitting on the floor against the far wall. "Ron..."

Ron shook his head, unable to look at her. "Don't."

"Ron, please," She cried, crossing the room to kneel at his side. "I don't know why...it...it was a mistake."

He started laughing then, a sharp biting sound devoid of any humor and sent chills down Hermione's spine. "A mistake?"

"It didn't mean anything, I swear," Hermione replied. She took a shuddering breath, wiping at her tear-stained cheeks. "We just... it just happened!"

"Sticking your tongue down Harry's throat somehow just happened?" He shouted, slamming the bottle down onto the floor. "Tell me, Hermione, how does that _happen_?"

"I don't..." She broke out into sobs, her arms folded across her body as she rocked on her knees. "Please Ron..."

"How could you? Ginny and I were in the next room," he continued, voicing his disbelief. "Were you _trying_ to get caught?"

Hermione shook her head. "No, we've never...I swear." She fought to steady her breath. "I'd never do that to you...to us. I wasn't thinking clearly. He was just..."

"I don't want to hear it," Ron snapped, his composure crumbling. "I can't do this anymore."

"Ron?"

"The first time I almost killed him," Ron said, staring down at his bloodied hands..

"First?" Hermione asked, reaching out to touch him, but he shied away. "What are you talking about?"

"I came to your office to surprise you with a picnic lunch," he continued on. "Harry had gone home earlier in the morning. Said he wasn't feeling well and was going home to rest since we didn't have any pressing assignments. I flooed back to our flat to make the sandwiches and when I went to check in on him, he wasn't there." He paused. "I didn't think anything of it at the time. Ginny was home from between matches and I suspected that he had just gone to her place instead. I went into my room and got...." Ron trailed off, angrily swiping at his eyes. "Anyway, I made my way back to the Ministry... you hadn't locked your office door. I pushed it open...the two of you were shagging on the desk. You didn't even hear me come in."

"Ron! That didn't happen," Hermione cried, horrified.

"I was shocked and dropped the basket, and that caught your attention." He sniffed. "I don't remember much of what happened next. I launched myself at him and I blindly swung and hit until my knuckles were split open and bloody...he didn't even try to defend himself. You grabbed your wand and had to put me in a full body bind in order to stop me. I wanted to kill him."

"It's not true!"

"You healed him as best as you could, then the both of you apologized. Said that it just happened. That it was the first time. You...you begged for forgiveness...promised that it wouldn't happen again." His eyes met hers, anger evident their stormy blue color. "You said that it was a mistake. Days passed and you tried desperately to make things better between us, but every time I looked at you I could see the guilt and the shame and I knew that we couldn't go on like this." He paused. "So I fixed it. You had no idea I had been planning on proposing to you that afternoon."

"Ron--"

"But it happened again. A month after we were married, everyone had gone out to the pub: you, me, Harry, Ginny, Neville, Hannah, George, Angelina and Seamus. The place was dark, the music loud and the alcohol was flowing. We all sort of drifted around, drinking near the bar, dancing on the floor. I had gone up for another round of drinks and when I came back I noticed that you were missing. And somehow I just knew. I checked the washrooms, and almost passed out with relief when I didn't find you there. But then I noticed the door to the stockroom was ajar." He stopped, running his hands through his hair. "He had you up against the wall, your skirt bunched around your waist and his trousers dropped to his ankles. I stunned you both, before you even saw me. And then I fixed it."

"Stop saying that!" Hermione screamed, coming up onto her knees and grabbing ahold of his jumper, shaking him. "Why are you doing this, Ron? I've never had sex with Harry! Never!"

Ron wasn't listening. "The fourth time it happened, Ginny was the one to find you. She was devastated...sent me an owl because she was too distraught to apparate without possibly splinching herself. I left the scene of an assault between an auror and a muggle and rushed right over. She was scheduled to be at a Falmouth match, but came home after deciding that she was going to resign. It was the last match of the season and she wanted to give the reserve player taking her position over a chance to get in a game before the season ended. She was ready to start a family and wanted to surprise Harry with the news. You were supposed to be in Rome for the weekend at a foreign ministry conference, but must have taken a portkey back to meet with him. You didn't even know that we were at the house. She couldn't bear to go in the room to confront you. So I sat her down on the sofa and did it myself. You told me that it 'just happened'. That it was the 'first time' and that it was a 'mistake' that would 'never, ever happen again'. But like always I ignored the lie and fixed it, then went back to Ginny. For a moment I considered asking her what we should do. She tearfully confided that she had found out that morning that she was already pregnant and I knew that I would have to fix it for her too. I was jealous because I finally had someone else to share the pain with, as awful as it sounds. I asked her if she would leave him and she shook her head. She loved him, even though he betrayed her. I couldn't fault her, because I felt the same way. So I fixed it for her too, because she was hysterical and I didn't want anything to happen to the baby. To James."

Hermione stared at him incredulously.

"I secured a portkey and took you back to Italy and told you that I had come to surprise you as an early anniversary present. You wanted to have sex right then and there...and it was the first time that I _couldn't_..." His face flushed red with a mixture of embarrassment and anger. "You asked me if there was something wrong. You had no idea." He sighed. "I've lost count how many times I've caught you. Merlin knows how many times you two have gotten away with it in between. Honestly, if it weren't for the kids, I don't think I would have survived so long. I...I almost stepped knowingly into an ambush during a raid, hoping a dark wizard would put me out of my misery. But I couldn't bear to think what would happen to my sister if she discovered you two and there wasn't anyone there who could fix it for her. She doesn't deserve that kind of heartache. No one does. I guess you could call me weak, because I can't bear to lose you. Even when you're with him, I still need you. I believe it when you say that you love me. The problem is that you love him as well. I've come to accept that. Because I really don't have a choice, do I?"

"I don't," Hermione cried. "Not like that, Ron. I don't love him like that."

Ron turned to look at her once again. Only this time his eyes had a gentleness in them as he regarded her tearstained face. "You do. Once when I caught you, you were so consumed with guilt over hurting me that you wanted to kill yourself. I stopped you from drinking a vile of poison that you had purchased in Knockturn Alley. I realized that I'd rather live with you like this than to not have you at all. You love us both. I guess Voldemort was only half right." He slowly got to his feet and Hermione scrambled to hers as he made his way toward the door. "I should have fixed things before I left. There's no telling where Ginny may have gone or who she may have already told. The more people who are involved, the more difficult it'll be to fix."

"To fix?" Hermione finally asked. "You've said that so many times. What are you talking about?"

He stopped, one hand on the doorknob and turned toward her, bringing his wand up.

"Obliviate."

The End...

unless you want to read the:

Alternate Ending

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	2. Alternate Ending

Ron's eyes shot open and he gasped in horror as the very vivid scenes of his nightmare began to fade from his conscious. He was on the verge of panic as his body shook and sweat broke out across the back of his neck. His breathing was fast, so very fast, but it felt like he wasn't pulling in any air at all. He struggled to sit up, and it was only then when he realized that he wasn't alone in the bed as an arm slipped behind him in support. His terrified blue eyes met concerned brown as Hermione cupped his cheek and tilted his head towards her.

"Are you okay?" Hermione asked.

He nodded breathlessly. "Nightmare."

Hermione rubbed his back soothingly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Ron hung his head, unable to look her in the eye. "You...and Harry...together. I caught you...s-so many times..."

Hermione sighed.

"It felt so real," Ron went on. "I know it's ridiculous, that you'd never do that to me...but it just..."

Hermione shifted on the bed, reaching for her wand on the bedside table. "Lumos," she said softly, illuminating the room with the tip of her wand. She reached up and cupped Ron's cheek once more, rubbing her thumb along his stubble roughened skin. "That's the problem with memory charms."

Ron looked at her, confusion evident in his eyes. "What?"

"Memory charms," she replied. "They're highly effective, but continual use leaves behind a residual imprint that can sometimes be misinterpreted subconsciously."

"Hermione, I don't understand?"

"It wasn't me, Ron." She informed him. "You're right, I would never do that to you... to us. Harry has always been like a brother to me, you know that." She paused. "It's you...and Lavender."

"No," Ron whispered, shaking his head adamantly. "That's not funny, Hermione."

"It's not," she agreed. "But it's the truth."

"Don't say that!" He cried, repulsed by her accusation.

"That's your reaction every time I tell you," she said, matter-of-factly. "It's always made me wonder what you see in her, when you're so disgusted by the idea of the two of you together."

"You're mistaken!" he shouted. "I'm...I'm still dreaming. This isn't real!"

Hermione sniffed and angrily wiped at the tears threatening to fall form her eyes. "I promised myself the last time that I wouldn't cry anymore. You're not dreaming, Ron. I find it almost ironic that your reoccurring nightmares reflect my reality." She glanced at the clock. "It's late and I have an early meeting tomorrow with the Senior Undersecretary to the Minister."

"No, Hermione," Ron reached out and grabbed her arm. "I...I wouldn't do that."

Hermione raised her other hand and pointed her wand at him. "It's okay, Ron. You won't remember any of this. Nox." The room was bathed once again into darkness.

"Hermione, wai--"

"Obliviate."

Ron blinked, looking around the room in confusion. "Wh--"

"It's okay Ron," Hermione's voice called out. "You had a nightmare."

"I...did?" He settled back against the pillows and felt Hermione snuggle up to his side. "I don't remember."

She ran her hand soothingly across his chest. "It's okay. It's probably for the best that you don't."

"I suppose," Ron replied, closing his eyes as sleep came to him once more. "Love you," he murmured.

Hermione's hand froze for a long moment, before continuing it's caress. "I know, Ron. I know."

The End. (not quite)

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	3. The End aka Alternate Ending 2

Ron jerked awake sweating and gasping for breath, hopelessly tangled up in his bed sheets. He ran a shaking hand through his hair, pushing his fringe off his damp forehead as he slowly sat up and looked around.

It was too dark to see anything, but he knew that he was alone on the small cot. He pulled the collar of his shirt away from his body and reached down, grasping the cold, heavy weight that rested against his chest.

He grabbed his wand from under his pillow and pointed it down at the bed. "Lumos," he whispered. The tip of the wand glowed brightly, illuminating the interior of the tent and he quickly thrust it under his blanket. He waited for a long moment, but neither Harry nor Hermione stirred.

Ron ducked under the blanket and examined the tiny locket. It was hard to imagine that a piece of Voldemort's soul was trapped inside. He removed the locket from around his neck and held it in the palm of his hand. He played with the catch, but it remained closed. Not that he wanted it to open...ever. But Harry had said that it would have to open in order to destroy what was protected within.

Ron hated it. Every time he had to slip that thing over his head, he had to endure its taunts. It would whisper things, ideas he'd always thought in the far recesses of his mind. Feelings that he'd never share with anyone. But it somehow knew.

And the nightmares...

They played on his fears, ranging from his parents favoring Harry over him to the complex, convoluted situation he found himself in tonight. Often he woke up screaming, much to his embarrassment, when the noise woke his two friends. He'd lie, of course, about the content of the dreams when they asked, claiming that he couldn't remember.

Hermione had admitted that wearing the locket affected her...affected them all. But Ron knew that, for him, it went beyond the irritability and impatience that she had described. He didn't know why the magical object focussed its harassment on him. All he knew was that it needed to be destroyed.

Quickly.

But that didn't seem like a viable option at this point in time. They'd been in the same location for weeks now, trying to unsuccessfully locate the remaining horcruxes. He'd expected Harry to have had a better idea on how to go about finding them. He had assumed that Dumbledore had given specific instructions before his death.

But Harry was just as clueless as he was.

He missed his family. He missed his mother's cooking. He missed his tiny room at the Burrow. He even missed the sounds of the ghoul stomping around the attic during the middle of the night.

Ron missed his home.

They weren't making any progress since finding the locket and it was starting to grate on his nerves. Food was becoming scarce and the weather was starting to turn bitter cold. He had figured that their journey would take weeks, not months.

And their possession of the locket didn't help matters any. He hated when it was his turn to wear it. If felt as if a black cloud was hovering above his head, inwardly belittling him for hours on end, only to lift when it was Harry or Hermione's turn.

Ron was at his wit's end and he was sure that his companions knew that as well. He'd catch them whispering to one another when he wasn't paying attention. They'd exchange secretive looks across the table during their meals. And sometimes, they would ignore him completely when discussing their search plans.

It made him think that...

Ron sighed heavily. Reluctantly, he slipped the locket back over his neck and settled back against the pillows. He closed his eyes, willing sleep to come before...

_Ronald?_ A serpentine voiced echoed in his head. _Poor ickle Ronniekins is the odd man out once again, isn't he? I warned you about that. You may have been blinded in the past, but I have opened your eyes to the truth. You're a nuisance to them. You're too weak, too stupid to help them on their foolish quest._

_You cannot destroy me, Ronald._

_They want you to leave, so they can continue on. Together. You've seen the way they look at one another. The way they want one another. She's never looked at you that way, has she? Potter is taking your place in her heart and there's nothing you can do to stop it. She will never love you while he stands in between._

_Least loved by your mother, she yearns to call Potter her son instead. You've brought danger to your family because of your associations with him. You are a burden to them all._

_You will never have what you truly desire. I have seen your fears, Ronald, and they are not unfounded. They will consume you, and when they do, your heart will be mine._

_Soon, Ronald._

_Soon._

The End

AN: So there you have it. All of the bad Harry/Hermione & Ron/Lavender associations were manifestations of Ron's subconscious due to the influence of Slytherin's Locket. And we all know what unfortunately unfolds for Ron with that particular piece of jewelry. But we also know how the book turns out and who ends up happily together.

As JKR wrote:

'All was well'


End file.
